Turmoil

I just wanted to let my two readers know that life is proving complicated and all consuming at the moment, therefore posting will be sporadic if not nonexistent for the next couple of weeks; thereafter you can expect me back ranting and raving with gusto!

Lack of Posts

Apologies for the lack of posts recently, have been away and away from an internet connection, sheer hell an update and proper post later!

You Couldn't Make This Stuff Up

If you're in Japan, and feeling a little down, it seems that you can pretty much rent anything or anyone you want to cheer you up. From cats, dogs and beetles (WTF??), to mothers, fathers and husbands; for example, towards the lower end of the scale:

Actors are despatched to play the part of distant relations at weddings and funerals. For an extra fee, they will even give a speech.

And a few notches up

But the firm's services do not stop there. It can also provide temporary husbands to single mothers who want them.

The website says the "dad" will help the children with their homework. He will sort out problems with the neighbours.

It doesn't end there

And if things are not working out with a real husband, a woman considering a divorce may choose to hire a "mother" in order to discuss her marital anxieties.

This last bit is genius

There is a service for women who are about to wed too. Apparently, they can practise for married life with a hired husband, although whether this involves seduction or sock washing is not exactly clear.

Pure genius.

Crossroads

Today I find myself at a painful and frightening crossroads in my life. A venture which was sure to succeed, did indeed succeed, however the person I entered into it with and I are no longer on speaking terms, and so I have had some tough choices to make.

I have decided to extricate myself as best I can from this ill-fated partnership, but in doing so I know that I will sever what has been the most important friendship in my life, and in addition put myself in financial straights as I will not be able to recover the money I invested in this partnership, or at least not for the foreseeable future.

Some may view my actions as cowardly, I’m cutting and running, but I am doing so to ensure what I believe to be a very important factor, that of my own happiness. To stay in a situation that makes me cry like a two year old every time I think about it, let alone when I am in it is something which I deem unacceptable to me. I am being selfish, and I offer no apology for it, only a lot of regret. When we realize that those closest to us, are in fact the only ones that are able to hurt us in deep and lasting ways, it clarifies how much risk we take every time we let someone into our lives. I’m rambling, I know…

What has made this decision possible is the un-mitigating support of my family and friends, without whom this decision would have been impossible to make. Their support and tireless listening has helped me sort through the jumble of my thoughts and clarify the paths open to me; the fact that they will still be there once my decision turns to action makes what I have to do possible, and for that I thank them more than they can know.

A Tad Cynical?

You've got to wonder, when you read that a Cornish Harbour has frozen over, snow fell on the Las Vegas strip in the worst storm in 30 years and Europe is trying to cope with exceptional snowfalls and cold snaps, where exactly the effects of global warming fit in?

Cynical, me? Absolutely not. To be cynical, you need to have brought the lie in the first place.

WTF

Enough now. I'm so enraged I'm finding it difficult to type. Via the the latest pile of steaming crap, sorry article, from the BBC, we are now being warned of the dangers of third hand smoke.

Now, as always when they are looking for an angle that cannot be attacked lest we be accused of being heartless and borderline criminal, this study was, of course, conducted for 'the children' (in the US on 1500 households; ah, so a teaser study if you will). Allow me to share a few gems if I may:

There is plenty of evidence that "second-hand" smoke - breathed when you are in the same room as someone smoking - can be harmful, particularly to children,...

Hmm...., nope, no definitive evidence, lots of maybe's, could's and might's, but no proof, please take a quick look here and here for just two opinions a quick search brought up should you wish, (although I should warn you I nearly defenestrated my laptop upon reading the second article) and yet, they are now warning us about third hand smoke,

Professor Winickoff said: "The dangers of third-hand smoke are very real - when you smoke - any place - toxic particulate matter from tobacco smoke gets into your hair and clothing."

It gets worse

Professor Andrew Shennan, from Tommy's, said the results had "significant implications", particularly for pregnant women, who may have stopped smoking themselves, but are still in contact with others that do.

"It is vital that women are made aware of the possible risks associated with third hand smoke, and alert those around them of the impact it could potentially have on the health of their unborn baby.

OK then.

So in short, don't smoke, don't allow people around you to smoke, don't venture anywhere where other people may smoke, and should you by accident encounter a smoker, run for the hills, unless of course you want to harm the 'children'. For crying out loud, we really are lepers.

Now I am a smoker, and as such I have a specific point of view on this matter (and choose to live in countries whereby I can do what the fuck I want without undue interference into my life), nevertheless this is beyond ridiculous. On the strength of the 'harm' caused by secondhand smoke, restaurants, pubs and bars, to name but a few, across the world have become smoke free (and many have shut down subsequently), and via this excellent rant over at underdogs bite upwards, in the UK it would seem they are actively trying to eradicate cigarettes altogether.

A quick look around the ASH website scared the bejeezus out of me, and I ran away as quickly as my trusty browser would allow me; the internet truly is a scary place. So if the starting point is the 'children', as I believe it was with second hand smoke (I wasn't paying much attention, I never thought such a ludicrous claim would gain credibility), then where will this lead I wonder?

Third hand smoke? FFS

Mobiles, AKA Your Own Personal Bubble

Something in a post over at ishouldbeworking made me think about the pain in the arse wonder that is the mobile phone. OK, OK, I have to admit they are practical, but there are a few things that really piss me off with some mobile phone users (and yes, I have been guilty of doing the first to some extent, but I have yet to decapitate anyone):

The Mobile Bubble - those affected with Bubbleitis, when speaking on their mobile seem to believe that they are sitting in their own front room, in the middle of what would appear to be the apocalypse, and hence adjust their volume accordingly. In addition, what with being in their front room and all, they do tend to gesticulate in such a manner that cyclists and pedestrians alike really should duck for cover.

The Hands Free Menace - as with the Bubbleitis clan, these people also threaten to decapitate and deafen passers by on a regular basis, but in addition, they also have an uncanny ability to slam into you should you be stationary, such as waiting to cross the road or looking in a shop window, and then look at you like you're the menace.

The Multitasker - this breed possess not one, not two, but three or more of the little buggers mobiles. Now I get it, VP or drug dealer, you've got to be in touch with your business, but please, three phones? How the smeg are you supposed to use them all, and more importantly where the hell is the waiter supposed to put your pint / glass of Sauvignon Blanc? Although I have to admit, watching them try to juggle the buggers whilst on the move does put me in a better mood!

The Textaholics - now, what you do on your own time is none of my business, but if you're sat across from me having a drink put the mobile down. Enough said.

And as I sit here pontificating from the safety of my laptop, my mobile is right by my side.